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Stick exclusively to positive, reward-based methods rather than the old punitive school of training. With harsh techniques, your dog might toe the line—but he'll also learn to shrink from you (you = bad things). 'Don't use aversive training methods such as leash corrections or yelling at your dog, because research suggests this can affect the dog's relationship with you,' says Zazie Todd, social psychologist, certified trainer, founder of the blog Companion Animal Psychology, and author of Wag: The Science of Making Your Dog Happy. With positive reinforcement, you don't just encourage the behavior you like—you cement your bond through classic conditioning (you = treats = happy feelings).
2. Consistent Rules and Boundaries
Imagine someone keeps moving the goalposts on you—one day you can sprawl on the couch, the next you're scolded for the very same thing. You'd be a little jumpy, unsure of what's okay and what isn't, wouldn't you? Setting clear rules for your dog—and setting them up to win—is one of the most powerful things you can do for your relationship. And it goes beyond just you: make sure everyone in the household is on the same page well before your pup ever comes into play.
Sassafras Lowrey, author of Tricks in the City, champions trick training as a bond-builder. 'I think one of the most important things we can do if we want to improve our relationship with our dogs is to spend fun and intentional time together,' Sassafras says. 'Good relationships don't just happen, they are built, and a fantastic way to develop a stronger connection with our dogs is to play and train together. Trick training helps your dog build confidence, and it's a way for you to build confidence in communicating with your dog.' Keep sessions short, fun, upbeat, and full of treats, she advises. Her book, Tricks in the City, walks you through teaching a wide array of tricks step by step. For basics like sit, down, stand, spin, and more, hold a tasty treat by your dog's nose and lure them into each position.
Here's the message you want your dog to absorb: you are the Source of Good Things. Wonderful stuff happens whenever you're around—think attention, playtime (a round of your dog's favorite game), and treats. Handing out dinner bite by bite as she performs her cues (sit, stay, etc.) is never a bad move.
We all need a little fun baked into the day—dogs included. 'The best way to improve your bond with your dog is to do joint activities that you both enjoy,' says Zazie, 'whether that's petting your dog on the couch, hikes in the forest, or training your dog using little bits of food such as chicken as positive reinforcement. Think about what your dog likes to do and try to give them opportunities to do those things more, within reason and so long as it's safe! And always give them a choice, of course.'
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